Your Smile . My Life
Prelude

Self-denial is a game
so strange i never would've
wanted till there was you.
cause i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

On vacation


A loner.
A devil.
A pessimist.
A contradictor.


Speak

Your wonderful comments.

Camarederie

Yeeling
Jeffrey
Zhen
Ting^2
Delai
Hui Jun
Ah Yang
Shu Xian

Eliz
Joleen
Adeline
Li Xian
Addy
Hwee Fung
Helen
Ching
Wei Xi
Gou Gou
Kah Weng
Lijing

Ruth
Yirong
Qiu Yan
Ya Yun
Jia Xian
Ming Hui
Wei Wei
Heidi
Wang Chin
Xin Wei
KC
MDK

K Clan
29th Wushu
02s66
HC WUSHU



Credits ©
Designer : PauLeNe
Brushes : xXx
Image : xXx
Software : xXx
Fonts: xXx
Basecodes: xXx
Welcome to My Life
Do you know me?
Are you sure you know me?
I dun even know myself...

日曜日, 8月 31, 2003

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



Izznt that yeeling's blog pics...funny...nevermind, hey, i like that k...feels swt...haha...oh well, study...

Sorry....never blog for a LONG LONG time...went photo taking today...haha..damn funny...the photographer keep asking us to mve, left right, tilt head, nod head, blah blah blah...my sister waste lots of film by blinking everytime he counted "three"...then, we have to retake...but then, it should be good and nice...i MUST look good or else, it will be damn not worth...it's like 400 plus lor...cow...i dun like to take photos...haix...think i suck in photos...do i? Nvermind, confidence is all u need to look good...yup...

Anyway, jts's tonight, should i go? I mean, it will be really awkward to see her but i like my juniors...esp, ying*, hui, wee chee, yi....haha...all the nicks i use for them...and they are like so disorganised...and it's like so rush and insincere...shouldn't it be seen like a form of gratitude towards the senior...i mean, if they think we suck, dun hold it lar...wat's the use to having it suddenly...i only knew about it yesterday night....they should really think about it lor...

Nothing else to say, the night when i was looking at the stars and mars when it was raining was the minimum peak i think...really hope there was someone with me to look at the stars...why would people prefer it to the stars...they are always there for u lor...unlike mars...and it doesn't blink to u at all...=P...and did i say, i saw the wide range of wedding gown at the bridal photo studio...wow...it's really nice...haha...hope to see my wife in it...must be really fabulous and elegant...waiting...waiting for the day...i love my wife...ha...must be mad now...study for prelims...i wanna be a psychologist or financial trader.....

日曜日, 8月 17, 2003
I m damn bored...haix...feeling sian as usual..keep feeling so these days...guess i m going to sleep soon...anyway, studied alittle today, where is my usual speed and pace...i dunno...kind of lost them since after competition...and after some really sad stuff in my life...but then, hmm, i m fine...i think i passed the bottom stage liao lar...should be feeling better...

Miss the pig gang at wushu...shall go see them one of these days...everyone is busy mugging...must get my pace back cause i m slacking...i m the best...haha...and i will definately get 4As...haha...oh ya, the song writing competition is on friday and we supposed to performed it...haha...fun...got mel to join in...now it's damn fun to sing together...the song is damn nice now...listen carefully to it on friday guys...

Oh ya, Huiying's kind of angry...are u ok? Calm down...u can tell me anything or even scold me if you want lar...just cool down, and smile k...Oh...erm, as usual, shall describe my friend alittle...hmm...she is a bubbly and cheerful girl lar...but then, her chinese sucks...haha...but, she is quite cute and swt, plus points...hee...always quite fun to talk to her, cause she got this sense of innocence in her...maybe, it's cause she is blur lar..haha...

Oh ya, hey, long time never blog cause, i m really busy...sorry, but then, i do read people's blog...so, dear friends, blog ur stuff...i will be watching you...haha...sounds like a psycho...haha....been thinking about lots of stuff happening in my life...hope it will turn out fine...yup...i know i will...cause i m the best....

土曜日, 8月 09, 2003
Today should be a happy holiday, but i kind of feel indifferent to the joyous spirit around me...feel kind of lost today...

Kind of miss her...haven seen her for days...i forgotten how long cause it seems like years...lots of sweet and loving couples around me...am i jealous of them? I dun wanna salvage stuff when i know it will bring more pain...and i really dun like to snowball more stupid problems...

Guess i better go do work...or go play game...get my mind in place 1st...my mind and body seems seperated...feels like i m strolling slowly in the crowd in town...moving real slowly...and aimlessly...expressionless...while cheers of the crowd move quickly past me...

I dun like to talk about personal stuff and secrets...but dun ask me why i m saying it here now...i dunno why cause my blog has became my personal diary...i m not a victim, i did not write this to be sympathised by people...but i just wanna say it out and get it out of my mind...dun wanna talk more about it...i will recover, somehow i will, didn't they say "Time heals all pain"...

Holiday is coming to an end...as 12am approaches, would i feel better? I shall wait and see...and even if i dun, the day would be ending soon rite?


Hmm...Happy Birthday Singapore...haha...i love my country...

National Day celebration today in sch...quite lame lar...the mc trying to act hip...eee...and there is this stupid ah beng teacher who shouted at us...he got no image lar...and he sucks...go be a straw lar...he should quit lor...like, condemned one him...

Anyway, went to KTV with my friends...haha...damn fun...with 3 other guys, Qi Fan, Daniel, Terence and 4 girls, Mel, Su Ching, Diya and Mei Hua...anyway, it was damn funny...Qi Fan and i was trying lots of RnB stuff for different songs...hee...Qi Fan is one of my buddy...he is borned on the same day as me, and oh...he plays basketball damn well too...yup..
Then, Daniel and Terence joined in and we sang some F4 song...haha...damn funny...Daniel is this clever guy in my class...haha...he can be quite fun and also quite frustrating haha...but then, he's quite a nice guy lar...but got abit of *abnormal interest*...i know he will read my blog...haha...shouldn't spell it out...hee...but then, hmm, he can write poems well man...you can read his blog in my link...he's the Big Cow....

Realised my classmates can REALLY sing well...gonna do our best for the song writing come...there's a performance in finals...oh ya, its free entrance now..so, alot people sounds keen in coming...haha...i will surely get stage fright lor...even after 6 yrs of competition in wushu, where u have to stand on a carpet with 9 judges and a stadium of crowd eyeing on u...it's really really stress, believe me...i have been through it, now it's my juniors' turns...

火曜日, 8月 05, 2003
Oh...yeah...our class song got into finals...not officially our class song lar...but i wrote the lyrics...ming zhen wrote the tune...diya did the lead singing with ming zhen...and of course...terence and his brother for the instruments and also, the sophisticated and superior equipments...haha...we rock man...

Sheesh...just got an embarrassing experience...my junior actually thinks i like her...well, she is a nice girl...cute and swt but then, i got one better one...anywya, not the point, thought she was quite on my side...similar type, fun loving and happy-go-lucky kind, and quite down these few days, so got quite close to her, yup...but then, didn't expect that from her...she even told me she wasn't hinting to me that she like me...cow...i was like suddenly hit by her lar...and now, can anyone tell me wat to do cause it feels damn lame and i feel stupid to have seems to hinted that i like her...i do, but not that way...maybe it's cause my friends influenced me to speak in such a similar sort of cheeky way...nevermind, but dunno wat to do in school tmr liao when i meet her....

The wushu club room...a place where i have lots of good memories...but then, haix...there's more and more reasons for me not to go back there liao...firstly, got some personal problem...and now, more trouble...haix...guess i shouldn't go back liao...awkward with junior and someone...nevermind...=( One less person to talk to but i still got my playboy clique and of course, my mei meis...and lots of pretty chio girl-friends and handsome suave boy-friends...haha...love all my friends...tmr playing backetball with the 4C people...my ex-classmates...we rock man...we are the best of friends...to all my good friends, God blesses...lucks 4eva....and friendship 4eva...

月曜日, 8月 04, 2003

Sapphire
You're a Sapphire. You seem to be unreachable, but
deep inside, you are really a nice and warm
person. You are elegant and get along well with
people once you know them.


What Jewel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love the sapphire...haha...my favourite colour and it looks real cool...i mean, other jewel colour rocks too...but i always like sapphire...it feels like those cool game magical artifact like "Tears of an angel"....cool....but unreachable...do i look like or feel like unreachable?I guess i m quite a friendly happy-go-lucky person...unreachable...certainly not lar....i crap around and say lame jokes...u call that unreachable....oh pls....

土曜日, 8月 02, 2003
Today, i did nothing...feel damn lethargic today...sleep and sleep and sleep...gonna study now...feelings out...mugging in...that's the true spirit of wildfire...in eternal flames and energy...must really buck up cause A level is like, very or should i say extremely important to in our life...

Feel better today...not as bored or rather sad as the last time...probably getting tired of relationship and stuff like that...why does the one you love always hurt you most? Where is the love.....

I realise many things after lots of thinking...some people just dun cherish wat they have...like me to my family...sorry...really sorry...i guess i m not a nice guy at all...but i always complain about them but i love them...with all my heart...yup...and some people just wanna be an angel....they dun wanna be a devil...however, if everyone is an angel, where is the devil to show that they are angels...

Conclusion...tired...real tired...now mugging liao...i guess i dun really like to salvage stuff...

There are things we don't want to happen,
But have to accept...
Things we don't want to know,
But have to learn...
And people we can't live without,
But have to let go...


That's my favourite phrase of wisdom...haha...i m not evil...i just don't wanna see an even more unhappy ending...anyway, it's not an ending yet...we shall see...


Angel Of Justice
You're the Angel Of Justice... On the Good side of
course! The superhero, with a lot of strength,
faith, will, that saves women and children from
the evil... You trust in justice, and you're
ready to kill those who don't respect it!


If you were an Angel... which would be your path?
brought to you by Quizilla

"I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
just to have sombody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough..."


Oh...this song is nice "Love just ain't enough" by Stephanie Sun...this is maria's favourite, or at least one of her favourite song...and the lyrics suits how i feel now...well, i guess love just really ain't enough...guess i was a little naive to think that two people in love with one another would be able to live happily ever after...many other stuffs do make a difference...like tolerance level and mutual understanding...

I guess today was really wuite a day for me...i survived it...haha...without much difference...but then, erm, i dun feel good at all today...laughter and happiness seems to be two different topics today...

Lack of words...brain not thinking clearly today...but in short...sad...i m tired...really tired...i dun understand how some people can treat relationships so lightly...dun they ever think about the impact they created in the lifes of others with such sense of irresponsibility...dun wanna bewail around here...but this urge in me just makes me feel like complaining more about it...Once and again...u hurt me with ur insensitivity...

I dunno wat's there to say now...

Remember, even simple things can lead to many drastic situations in any relationships...before you do anything, pls, think about how fortunate u r to be in love and cared for and dun complain about stupid stuff and make irrational decisions...wat done can never be undone...