Welcome to My Life
Do you know me?Are you sure you know me?
I dun even know myself...
日曜日, 9月 19, 2004
Sometimes, people just feel lost in life...
Life is so vast...and the norms, the replications and the restrictions of the society adds on to it, making people lost and aimless...wondering around in the world, asking what are they doing and wat they really want in life...is wat they experiencing now really wat you want in life?
How many people are truly happy in life?
I m probably in this stage in life...slightly lost...out of aim and dunno wat i m doing, wondering,wondering and just wondering...
I guess there are other people feeling so...but just have a mask over them, hidings their feelings...living in a make belief happiness...wat's really the point of it...but it comes down to the point if you really want to show people you are sad and unhappy all day?
Just simple thoughts.....
And when you really need a friend, you realise that they have their own lifes too...
People like me are sentimental in nature...we look back to the past, cherishing the past and holding on to the past...but you will come to realise that many things moved on...things change...people change...and we are forced to move on....
I guess i have to too...
You can call me pessimistic...but that's the reality of life...wake up from the sweet dream you have...
日曜日, 9月 12, 2004
I m HOME!!!
I miss my home...ha..
Camp is so boring...and ULTRA busy...like being exploited by instructors...all the tank lessons were interesting...but i feel that something is missing there...so great bonds between friends...not that i dun like my bunk mate or wat...but i miss my good friends elsewhere...
A lot of people are so fake or very flawed there...which irritates me...
I dun like to hide myself at all...but sometimes thing get so fake that it turns me off...how can people be so fake...haix...hate hypocrites...and alot of people are so not common-sensical...GROW UP pls........
I am so pissed off by Cpt Wilmock or wat stupid name lar...it's like this guy gladly and openly accused me of wat watching midnight movie to 3am then going for ECP run...it's like suddenly saying that it is snowing in Sahara lar...totally out of point...he was like accusing me straight in the face lar...and i told him i didn't and he sounds like i was lying to him lar...for wat...not like i got anything to hide lar...pissed me off totally...so irresponsible...i hate people accusing me lar....if he is not apologising to me, he will lose all my respect for him...
It's actually this guy called Wei de who went....then we were chatting...he said he drove here and i said i want to take his car home...he said he watched movie till 3am then slept an hour only...some idiot overheard our conversation or wat shit then told him and he accused me...irresponsible...captain some more...can you imagine that...spoil the image of the officer corps...i felt so disillusioned by the whole image of the pride and honour of an officer...
I knew who he was talking about when he told me off straight in the face but i didn't expose Wei de...cause i always believe in standing up for a friend...not camaraderie...too noble...just some friendship awareness...haix...so ganna accused lor...but i hate the fact that i actually respected him and he dun even trust me at all...good...
I believe my aim of becoming an officer have been blurred...somtimes i feel so tired...want to give up...and when i look forward to book out, i got nothing much to do...all my friends are busy...felt a sense of emptyness in me...haix...i can just waste the whole day staring into blank or sleep....but i guess i still look forward to freedom, which is a BIG part of my life..and best of all, my family...i love them cause they are always there for me...and i hate regimentation...it's like so stupid...i dun see the point in it lar...and with so many officers that are screwed up...you wonder if it is wat you want...
Enough...i believe i will strived on cause i want to uphold the officer corps...i wonder if those screwed up, irresponsible and accusing officers still remember their officer's creed....