Welcome to My Life
Do you know me?Are you sure you know me?
I dun even know myself...
土曜日, 5月 06, 2006
Last wed, i dropped by Hwa Chong to train.It was nostalgic to see lots of beige khaki uniform young girls and guys in school, walking through the old lousy side metal door, past the lousy canteen and to the center plaza.
I got rusty with all my moves, couldnt really execute anymore spectacular stunts anymore...took my good old buddy weapon...didnt really heeded my words and actions tho...
The great thing is to see Jiao Lian again...he looks...still as fit and healthy...haha...and another nostalgic moment to hear him talk at the end of training...he talked about 舍得...有舍才有得...quite meaningful...well most i heard before le alr...after all...6 yrs le lor...the why train wushu thing...heard before lor...
But its strange to be back, to a familiar, yet distant place...tried to look around for familiar faces, but in vain. Especially seeing all the little juniors, doing everything we have done before, roll the carpet, play with the weapons,hang around the club house to talk cock...the little talks, laughter, tears and sweat...just reminds me of wat i left behind...
I stood aside looking at them without a word, with a slight jealousy and afraid...
Why afraid u say?
Cause I have miss this place so many times that the memories have crushed me to be sad and numbed. Too many great memories around, some laughter, some joy and some tears. They are all great memories to do. Wake up into reality and u realise how much u had, how much u lost.
原来最痛苦的回忆,是最快乐的过去...
I suddenly tot of this, slightly related to the song "原来" by 林俊杰. The first time i heard the song, i could have cried. But i didn't. Maybe in the past, when i put lots of heart and soul into each friend or relationship i hold then, i would have.
But that was a long long time ago.
Too long, too long for me to do it again. I guess i was just tired of every set backs from the people you trust, the people you believe in and the hands you held so dearly to but left you in tears....
哀而不伤
I guess that's my mental status now...it's rather like melancholy...but i take melancholy to be more hurt than the chinese one i came up with...i like that phrase...forgotten where i heard or read it. I am quite numb from all the feelings around me now...
有人问我为舍么喜欢雨天?
因为站在雨中,没有人能看出是雨还是泪.
你明白吗?