Welcome to My Life
Do you know me?Are you sure you know me?
I dun even know myself...
月曜日, 12月 31, 2007
Now that basketball and hockey are both into quarter finals, it's like a really happy event, but both matches might most probably be the last cause the opponents are really strong this time.Anyway, the decision about where to go on new year is decided. Let's just hope it ain't too bad...guilt is one thing, regret is another.
I need to scream. Ignore me.
土曜日, 12月 29, 2007
I declare that I have truly discovered the most disgusting person in the world in my hall. YES IT'S U THE PEA!!!U SUCK MAN...
月曜日, 12月 24, 2007
Today is Christmas Eve and I hate the crowd and feeling today.I wanna give thanks to:
Someone who taught me how to love.
Someone who taught me how to cry.
Someone who taught me to treasure those around you when you had the chance.
Someone who taught me how to be understanding.
Someone who taught me to know what I dun want.
Someone who taught me to be more matured.
Someone who taught me the blur line between love and hate.
Someone who taught me how to give others happiness even if u are not part of it.
Someone who taught me how to feel in love again.
Someone who taught me how cold it is to be alone at night.
Someone who stood by and listen to me nag all the time no matter where you are.
For those who have given me obstacles in life, thank you for making me stronger.
For those who have annoyed me, thank you for teaching me tolerance.
I also wanna thank my family who have tolerated my annoying temper and randomness and believed in me all the time.
And all those who care for me, even if it was only for a moment in life that I was showered by your love and concern, thank you for making me smile. I thank god for the chance to meet you in life. Although our paves might not meet again, I thank you for the loving memories you gave me.
I'll never forget you, 忘れない.
Merry Christmas, although I dunno how merry it is.
Love,
Lixiang
日曜日, 12月 23, 2007
被放鸽子的这天，呆在家里真得很闷，索性就写部落格咯。圣诞节每一次都给我一种很孤单，很寂寞，却很自然，很和平，很温馨，却很悲伤的感觉。
反复矛盾的感觉，我也忘了是舍么感觉。总之，就是一种很不安的感觉，在我不属于的幸福世界。
卖火柴的小妹妹告诉了我们世界的不公平。
她永远都抱着一个希望，却从没得到幸福过。
看见的希望也只是是刹那的烟火。
其实她早该明白，希望和绝望也只是一线之差，一时之念。
希望破碎的久了，也不该再保有任何的希望了。
但她还是傻傻得等着，
因为那只是童话。
我记得好像听过，
每一张微笑的脸，背后都有一张哭红的眼。
每一个大声说话的人，背后都有难言的心声。
你的微笑，真的不代表一切安好。
别难过，
因为不管如何，
都有我在你身边守候。
别担心我难不难过，
只要你幸福就够了。
我一定会陪你走到最后。
木曜日, 12月 20, 2007
Wow...my hall's picking up lots of victory in sports matches which were surprisingly rare last year...Anyway, it has come to my attention like i have dragged too many people into dance, which i am damn guilty for it, if need to kick them out. Alot of people are not having commitment for it at all, which is super irritating at times. They are not appreciating grace's effort for the lessons and even remedial training lar..The er xing girl is damn stupid and nice at the sametime lar...why let people bully her....zzzz.....I really think some people who made empty promises and commitment sucks and I can't stand them.
And I still cant stand that idiot trying to at cute lar...even WC said his dancing sucks. See...I m not bias.
Anyway, it has been long since i ever talked about my story to anyone le, so Ruth's damn fortunate to listen to my true sad story...haha...ok can. Hope u are feeling alright and fine now ok?
Aiya...been getting damn tired easily and dunno why.
Sleeping. =)
Give me the strength to hold on to the coldest night in waiting for the brightest dawn with u in my arms.
月曜日, 12月 17, 2007
Jie Jie is back from Germany!And she has tons of good snacks from Germany, which i will be bringing to hall...haha...approach me if u wanna eat ok friends?
Anyway, was watching Ah fu's performance...quite zai sia...haha...it's from xiao zhu'a dance tune...quite nice...I still like Jing Wu Men better than Yi Zhi Du Xiew..
Anyway, been feeling kind of weird recently without any reason...dun ask me why, but I just feel much more pessimistic, bored and melancholic...I think I might go into depression soon man...=(
Tata.
土曜日, 12月 15, 2007
Was having a chat last night with xm and py and I realise, hey, we all concluded that the hall have tons of er xing people around.And all this would not have happened given that if neither of us were staying in hall. I for one listed my top 3 er xing people, which I decline to release their names due to privacy reason. But it's more than the number lar...this is just the top 3 placing...*CLAP CLAP*.
Ultimately, it's the inner truth in themselves that really make them er xing. They can be so fakely nice to others, and yet, they just have another scheme in their minds. The things the say or do that can really hurt people thinking that they are the world. And if u dunno, you simply think that they are good! That's the amazing skills of er xing people...which nv fails to amaze me in newer stunts everytime...
Sometimes I just wanna go back to the days when I feel like everyone was so much less scheming and sly and everything was clearer and more transparent. Or maybe when i m less sensitive to words and surrounding and more retarded in picking up intentions and stabs from people. But i cant. I just cant ignore the hidding blades and guns in people that's so clear to me. And I am utterly disgusted by that.
Py asked me wat i would do if i can go back in time. I told her I would turn back the one and only regret i have in life. I think i would add to not staying in hall. Because if i didn't stay in hall, i wouldnt have met these people, and agonized myself in forcing myself to talk to them, when I know I dun give a damn shit about them at all, but i have to fake these words in order to not to make the situation awkard. Afterall everyone stays in the same hall. The facade of mankind.
I do admit to know more people in hall, but friends, not as much, maybe more accuqutances. Because I believe in friends. I believe that i can trust them in some sense. Therefore, most people I can't trust and I probably wouldn't, given the way i could read minds and intent, u probably cant hide things from me.
To some extent, I know I would be wrong at reading minds, and I do believe that I m cynical and sceptical, but let's face it, how many times do u need to be hurt before u give up those stupid general goodwill belief trust to turn to the dark side like me? If u have been thru my life, you would be the same. Trust me...U would rather stay sceptical to protect urself than to believe.
To some extent, u are mentally prepared for the ugly real world. In another sense, they ruin my fun Uni Hall life, the last part of my life where i would be nice and truthful.
I never forget people who had an impact in my life. The good and the bad ones and there are just more deeper impacts of digusting people.
月曜日, 12月 10, 2007
Emotions are terribly strange things.
They make u as happy as if u could fly, the next moment as sad as can just break down and cry. It's like the roller coaster ride of life..yet sometimes, we are just extremely stupid to take the ride over and over again, because of someone.
Someone special.
Someone important to each and everyone of us.
Someone whom we all hold so dearly onto, and yet hurt us more the tighter we hold on to that glimsp of hope or memory.
No matter how much u want, it's the fate and destiny that ultimately pulls the strings in life and love.
I always believe that if it's yours, it would be yours.
If it isn't, it's just not meant to be.
It's all fated in life.
No matter how much u struggle or refuse to admit this, u still cannot escape the chain of love...as pawns of fate. Poor lowly human...suffering and wondering over and over again in this game we call love, each time as a new wound appear and heal with a scar, until ur memories are filled with unhappiness and burden and until u can become numb and devoit of feelings and emotions.
Who haven gotten hurt before in love and relationship?
But why are we still stupidly trying so hard to be selfless to be concern, when u know that it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter, because it is useless, and no one gives a damn about you or your story. After one day, it would just be forgotten by everyone and anyone, as u fade into the background with your own tales.
It's a cruel and harsh world my dear.
Even if I want to be there for u if u cry, my question is do u want me to be there for you?
Ha...But at last...I guess I am still just the dumb and retarded boy I was.
If this is really the way u want, I would give it to u.
这也可能是我送你最后的温柔.
No matter wat, promise me u wouldn't cry alone again.
Take care of urself.
Dear God please bless me with the strength to smile happily again tmr.
FINE, at least not as sad ok?
金曜日, 12月 07, 2007
So close,
And still so far.
世界上最遥远的距离。
This is from Eliz's blog also:
Love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.
Haha...i like this.
"Sometime i look cold so that you'll just give me a hug" SWEET...
Now I need a hug too.
木曜日, 12月 06, 2007
WAHH...It keep raining and raining...so nice to sleep and I have so much sports to train...how now brown cow...It's really nice, to have this chance of nearly 2 hr to just sit in my room in front of my laptop to sing and play guitar...while it's raining heavily outside...the atmosphere is so...making me want to write another gibberish down...watever u call that...
Yesterday night was perfect feeling of mix bitter sweet feeling...I am getting it now again...too bad I am hungry now...haha...if not i sure write another or try to fix a tune for the text.
Just now still need to go settle JCRC stuff...haix...how come i cannot sing "LALALA" and have birds and cats to help me with errands and sports one....unfair...=P
Going to play weiqi le. Cya
我喜欢下雨天。
因为它给人一种很轻松，很自然，很放松的感觉。
一点点感伤，加一点点浪漫。
一点点辛酸，加一点点温馨。
当思绪一点一点地在雨天的房里累积时，
记忆里的你，
是我的笑，
也是我的泪。
有人说，雨是天堂的眼泪。
总是好像懂得人们的心碎，
在你不开心的时候提你哭泣，
给你细细的安慰。
如果只有苍天才懂得我的温柔，
那心碎的浪漫，
也要让你拥有。
不打扰，
是我给你的自由
也是我的无能为力
你感受到了吗?
因为它给人一种很轻松，很自然，很放松的感觉。
一点点感伤，加一点点浪漫。
一点点辛酸，加一点点温馨。
当思绪一点一点地在雨天的房里累积时，
记忆里的你，
是我的笑，
也是我的泪。
有人说，雨是天堂的眼泪。
总是好像懂得人们的心碎，
在你不开心的时候提你哭泣，
给你细细的安慰。
如果只有苍天才懂得我的温柔，
那心碎的浪漫，
也要让你拥有。
不打扰，
是我给你的自由
也是我的无能为力
你感受到了吗?
水曜日, 12月 05, 2007
Just came back from NBS BASH, surprising number of people turned up...lol...interesting...haha...anyway, the freshies were all like leaving super early, so it turned out that 6 seniors just had fun by ourselves....I think the 3 guys us drank 6 jugs at least...was super tipsy when dancing, but, i didn't get drunk...LAST male survival...haha...I still had to drop yuen bo at hall 9 and send yanni to hall 16 lar...
Surprisingly, sirius girls were not really drunk at all...only the guys damn crazy and high...haha...
Anyway, it has been a long and tiring day, with an interesting ending. I love SIRIUS.
Take care friends.
This post is to apologise to ms vanilla.
I AM SORRY GIRL. FORGIVE ME? =P
I AM SORRY GIRL. FORGIVE ME? =P
月曜日, 12月 03, 2007
Stardust's a good movie.Sometimes when u wanto watch a movie with someone, you know you wouldn't watch it with another person. Eventually, when it turn out that you KNOW you wouldn't get to watch it with the one u want to, u TRUELY WOULDN'T get to watch it with her/him.
It's the harsh world.
Then it would become such that you would prefer not to watch it at all and in the end miss a great movie.
It has been so many times through the years that I have experienced such stuff...I am super tired of such cases....
You should just wake up and watch it alone. Objective over subjective.
And the saddest thing about missing the movie this way, is not whether the person refuse to watch it with you, but that you know you wouldnt be able to watch together even before you asked.
The irony is that saying this, I still never watch movie alone.
ラベル: Watch movie anyone?
土曜日, 12月 01, 2007
我不会唱歌罗志祥
这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后
是的 感情不是K歌
音阶一字不漏 不见得感动
我也懂 拿MIC的手不能颤抖
紧握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得
我努力唱完主(这)歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么哭什么明明搞笑的
我努力唱好朋友 我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得这首歌唱完的是我
这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后
是的 感情不是K歌
音阶一字不漏 不见得感动
我也懂 拿MIC的手不能颤抖
紧握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得
我努力唱完主(这)歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么哭什么明明搞笑的
我努力唱好朋友 我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得这首歌唱完的是我
我努力唱完这歌我忘了破音没有
你心里主动的下一首已经不是我
我努力唱到嘶吼 我不怕剩我一个
只要你能记得这首歌给我最爱的
Wat's wrong with me man...I feel damn sad listening to this song...zzz....
why i m feeling pissed at stupid things?
why am I even bothering about things and people not within my control?
why am I turning dumb?
Irritating...I never used to be so........
Wake me up from my lala land.