Welcome to My Life
Do you know me?Are you sure you know me?
I dun even know myself...
土曜日, 12月 15, 2007
Was having a chat last night with xm and py and I realise, hey, we all concluded that the hall have tons of er xing people around.And all this would not have happened given that if neither of us were staying in hall. I for one listed my top 3 er xing people, which I decline to release their names due to privacy reason. But it's more than the number lar...this is just the top 3 placing...*CLAP CLAP*.
Ultimately, it's the inner truth in themselves that really make them er xing. They can be so fakely nice to others, and yet, they just have another scheme in their minds. The things the say or do that can really hurt people thinking that they are the world. And if u dunno, you simply think that they are good! That's the amazing skills of er xing people...which nv fails to amaze me in newer stunts everytime...
Sometimes I just wanna go back to the days when I feel like everyone was so much less scheming and sly and everything was clearer and more transparent. Or maybe when i m less sensitive to words and surrounding and more retarded in picking up intentions and stabs from people. But i cant. I just cant ignore the hidding blades and guns in people that's so clear to me. And I am utterly disgusted by that.
Py asked me wat i would do if i can go back in time. I told her I would turn back the one and only regret i have in life. I think i would add to not staying in hall. Because if i didn't stay in hall, i wouldnt have met these people, and agonized myself in forcing myself to talk to them, when I know I dun give a damn shit about them at all, but i have to fake these words in order to not to make the situation awkard. Afterall everyone stays in the same hall. The facade of mankind.
I do admit to know more people in hall, but friends, not as much, maybe more accuqutances. Because I believe in friends. I believe that i can trust them in some sense. Therefore, most people I can't trust and I probably wouldn't, given the way i could read minds and intent, u probably cant hide things from me.
To some extent, I know I would be wrong at reading minds, and I do believe that I m cynical and sceptical, but let's face it, how many times do u need to be hurt before u give up those stupid general goodwill belief trust to turn to the dark side like me? If u have been thru my life, you would be the same. Trust me...U would rather stay sceptical to protect urself than to believe.
To some extent, u are mentally prepared for the ugly real world. In another sense, they ruin my fun Uni Hall life, the last part of my life where i would be nice and truthful.
I never forget people who had an impact in my life. The good and the bad ones and there are just more deeper impacts of digusting people.